wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
