It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
