Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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