Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize