we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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