I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize