i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
