Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize