i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
