Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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