I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
