also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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