I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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