Whod you bang
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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