Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
