i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
