Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
