Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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