I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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