You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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