i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
