Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
