In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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