So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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