yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize