I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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