i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
