Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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