I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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