Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
