Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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