Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
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