I must be too annoying 4 u.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
handjob tips. give me some.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
