Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
