return my video game
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
