...so i touched it.
my sisters under your porch take her home
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
