why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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