But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
