Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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