My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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