The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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