What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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