when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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