How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
