i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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