hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
