idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
