Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
