I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
