Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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