I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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