At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
zippers are such a cool invention
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
