i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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