they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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