You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
