Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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