D3 body, D1 cock
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
