Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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