remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
