Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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