VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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