No more Irish car bombs ever.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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