dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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