i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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