Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
