you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I accidentally had phone sex last night
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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