Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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