Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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