so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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