I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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