just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
