his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
