Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
