Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize