She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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