24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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