I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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