Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
