Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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