Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
