the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
