She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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