She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
How does one acquire holy water?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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