i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
