and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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