that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
