Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
