Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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