Michael Bay diarrhea
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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