are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
