My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
