Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
